< Masayang Saging: December 2007

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Essential

There are some things in life, that shouldn’t be given so much importance, if they don’t change what is essential.

The ability to compromise is much more important than being able to get what you want all the time. I remember, in my old relationships, it was TERRIBLY important for me to say and get what I want because I didn’t see anything wrong in NOT getting it. I would ask why not? why NOT? WHY NOT? I didn’t know when to shut up and listen.

It took me awhile to understand that there are some things that one HAS to let go and two, there are things that are not worth arguing about!

But this doesn’t mean that you would stop asserting your needs, what I am saying is, choose what is of value. A friend comes to mind and she was about to get married. The wedding dress was already finished, relatives from the US were flying in for the wedding, but there was just one hitch. My friend, was having second thoughts about her future husband: she couldn’t stand his little quirks, like squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle, the toilet seat left up, blah, blah and a million small things. I asked her, Is he nice to you? He was and that he was the kindest and and most giving man…but she just couldn’t take the small idiosyncrasies. Did the quirks change who the guy was? She said no but she just couldn’t live with it. Sad to say, the wedding was cancelled and they (of course) broke up shortly after that.

The next time you argue with your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, maybe it would be a good exercise for your EQ to analyze if this is one thing you would and can let go and just let it be. Life is too short to argue on useless things. Surprise them by saying “Ok! I agree with you!” then shut up after that. I once did that and we both got so surprised that we both laughed!

Just remember of course that as long as what you value like commitment, love, respect, trust, integrity and honesty are not being compromised, what is ESSENTIAL IS NOT CHANGED, just let it go…