Vignettes on life lessons

On self-reliance

There is no one else to rely on but your self.

That is why it is important to never completely lose yourself in someone.

Some people equate their worth or put their worth on other people. Then they go away, then you end up being devastated.

On happiness

It is a good feeling to be loved and wanted, but always remember, you must be happy in your own right.

On being one’s own person

One must always have one’s own inner well to draw from, a source of strength, a source of happiness, a source of confidence, and the knowledge that you can always overcome any obstacle.

The old adage is true, we can never give what we don’t have. It can be true in some cases that we are capable of giving love, of sharing, but when we give it ALL, we end up being dry. Then we feel as if our life has no more meaning.

On developing yourself

Always cultivate yourself first and foremost. No one wants an empty vessel. Cultivating yourself is good for your self esteem, contributes to your feeling of worth.

Remember, good looks can only take you so far. Read a book, develop a hobby, study something new. It’s NEVER too late to be interested on something. Grandma Moses was 80 when she first started painting and went on to become a prolific painter.

On despair

We must NEVER give in to despair, we must REFUSE to give in to despair. I have known of people giving in to despair and they end up being in the rut that they are in now. Never put yourself in a situation where you end up being idle with despair.

To give up is to lose.

On arguing

Life is too short to argue. One should know which things are important and which are not. A friend once told me, choose your battles, and then fight like hell to win.

On love

Love is the great leveler, the great denominator. And love makes it ALL worthwhile. But never use love as an excuse to hold on to a relationship long bereft of trust, respect and honesty. It has to be both ways, if it feels like it’s a one way street, then its time to move on.

On complaining

If you can do something about it then do it. If you don’t like the way things are, or there is nothing more you can do, GET OUT. But if you just complain and stay in the same vicious cycle over and over again, then you must be a glutton for pain. Again, never use love or pity to stay in a situation where you end being hurt or second class.

Developing ones self

When we develop the self to be good, mature and positive, it resonates to other people, and it inspires them, this translates to more people being inspired and working for a better community. But it doesn’t end there.

Because we are part of the community, this comes back to us in the end. What goes round comes round as they say.

Bottom line, the external, the world is immovable and unchangeable. But if we affect a change WITHIN us, then we AFFECT a change in our community, the way we deal in our relationships, our family, our work.

Gandhi said: We must be the change that we want to see in the world.