Salsa the canine schizophrenic

Salsa, my small, cute, smelly, foot pissing, tail less dog is schizophrenic.

He is all sugar and sweetness when I go out in the garden and pet him and Sarah.
Pero wag ka.

Come dinner time.

Ayan na, here comes the grub, rub a dub dub.
He changes into something else.

This is how sounds like when eating:

nyam nyam NYAM NYAM NGYARARARAANGYARANGARYNGYARY GGRRRRR KAW KAW KAW!! (bites and barks at non-existent enemy dog)

nguya nguya nguya, ngasab ngasap nyam nyam KAW KAW KAW!! BARK BARK BARK! NGYAR NGYAR NYAMNYAMNGYAR!!BARK BARK BARK(bites and barks again)

susme.

Tapos may I chase my own non-existent tail.

And thats how he sounds like till he finishes all his food.

Then he is all sweet again :-)


Another time he is schizophrenic is when its bath time.
I have to time him up because he nips me when I give him a bath!
THE BASTID!

Me: Salsa you have to take a bath na, AMOY PATIS KA NA! (YOU SMELL LIKE FISH SAUCE!)

Salsa: by this time he tries to run away but I catch him anyway

Me: ties him up and starts wetting salsa.

Salsa: grrr (ayan na yung tabo, nabasa na) grrrrrrrr (by this time he is thoroughly wet)
(I start to soap him) up growwlllllllrooowwwlll, with dagger looks to match, if this dog had wanted to kill me with his look, I bet he would have done that by now.


GRRRGGGRRRRR BARK BARK BARK!!!
(trying to nip me now)

Me: holding him close to my face GRRRRRRRRR SALSA!! YOU BEHAVE!AAAYYY!! (I do the same to show him who is master)

Salsa: BARK BARK BARK!! GGRRRRRRROOOWWWLLL BITE BITE!!

Me: BARK BARK BARK BARK GRRRR GGRRRR!! GROOWWWLL

Patulan ba yung aso......

I tried to splash water on his face in an attempt to stop him from barking and nipping

Salsa: with water splashing on his face GRWOOWLWLLW NYAMNYAMMM GRYOLLGNGYOORWWL (growling with water on his face) withc matching nips and bites

Luckily he didn't really bite me.

By this time, he is finished with his bath. I let him go and towel dry.

Afterwhich he gives me a dirty look.

That was two months ago.
He smells like patis ten times over now.