dismal

this blog has been really
really
really
dismal for some time already.

sorry guys.

but hey..theres still more stuff to read here... like this:

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a
common question. She said, "How do I know if I
married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to
her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "how do you
know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances
are good that it's weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning,
you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated
their call, wanted their touch, and like their
idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In
fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous
experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's
why it's called "falling" in love... because it's
happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my
feet." Think about hte imagery of that expression.
it implies that you were just standing there, doing
nothing, and then something came along and
happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and
spontaneous experience. But after a few years of
marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural
cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely,
phone calls become a bother (if they come at all),
touch is not always welcome (when it happens),
and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being
cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every
relationship, but if you think about your marriage,
you will notice a dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love and a much
duller or even angry subsequent stage. At htis
point, you and/or your spouse might start
asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you
and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love
you once had, you may begin to desire that
experience with someone else. This is when
marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse
for their unhappiness and look outside their
marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and
sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But
sometimes people trun to work, a hobby, a
friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie
outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with
someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY
you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same
situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS
NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU
FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous
experience. It'll NEVER just happened to you. You
can't "find" LASTING love. you have to "make" it
day in and day out. That's why we have the
expression "the labor of love." Because it takes
time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it
takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO
to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.
there are specific things you can do (with or
without your spouse) to succeed with your
marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe
(such as gravity), there are also laws for
relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise
program makes you physically stronger, certain
habits in your relationship WILL make your
marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If
you know and apply the laws, the results are
predictable...you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"...not just a
feeling.

-Anonymous

I got this off one of the forums I go to. Made me more depressed....